Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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Telephant
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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JiveTurkey wrote:
pamukParty wrote:
Telephant wrote:Wachted the Tom Hardy movie Locke last night. The entire movie takes place while he's driving and the other actors are voices only. But its surprisingly entertaining. Equal parts funny and sad. Definitely worth watching but be prepared for a dialogue movie and zero action. Its directed by the guy who did Eastern Promises, which is also a killer film.


Hmmm interesting. Liked Eastern Promises big time. The steam bath fight scene still gives me nightmares though. :lol:

Actually, Eastern Promises (and History of Violence; which is completely f**king awesome) is a Cronenberg flick. IMDB edit: director for Locke wrote EP screenplay. Sweet. Will definitely check it out as I always dig Tom Hardy.

Thats right he wrote the screen play for EP, my bad.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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Man, Eastern Promises and A History of Violence are both GREAT movies. I remember thinking "Now that's a movie!" after seeing each one. Cronenberg can be hit or miss but both of those prove that it is still possible to make real movies these days.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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Saw Dragon Ball Z - Battle of Gods last night at the theater. Very cool seeing it on the big screen!
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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My wife got "Noah" from Netflix without my knowledge. Good lord I feel for anyone who paid money to see that crap.

It was boring, and stupid, and pretty much nonsensical. If they'd dropped the whole Noah plot and just made a decent fantasy movie could've been good. But no, it was not good, it was awful. And mostly boring.

If you do attempt to watch this crapfest, turn off your brain because it will only hurt, badly.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

Post by ShaneV »

Based on these last few pages I think we should make Noah the official movie of GAB.

And Ovid, quit fucking around and go see Guardians of the Galaxy.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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ShaneV wrote:Based on these last few pages I think we should make Noah the official movie of GAB.

And Ovid, quit fucking around and go see Guardians of the Galaxy.


No time. We're going next weekend. Wifey at some point bought this package where we not only get to see a movie, we get popcorn, pizza, and bowling afterwards.

I am looking forward to it! :D
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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The Killer Inside Me - 8/10
A really well made movie about a really shitty human being. Supposedly based on a novel people thought could never be made into a movie due to the eeesh factor at the time it came out. Absolutely brutal in some scenes.

Spoiler Paragraph:
You get to watch Jessica Alba get her clothes ripped off, get tossed on a bed and get whipped with a leather belt. Later you get to watch her get beat near to death. There's a little girl rape scene. Kate Hudson gets beaten clear to death. Ned Beatty plays a huge asshole. Peggy's asshole partner from Mad Men plays his special-ed level stupid son. The main character actor does a wonderful job of playing the dispassionate sociopath. As he's beating up one of the girls he's saying, "it's OK, baby. I love you. It's almost over." In a completely disconnected way. There are some points where it's a bit uncomfortable to watch, but it's such a well made movie you don't want to turn it off.

And there's Simon Baker playing Simon Baker. Again. Just like he always is. So there's that.

Worth a watch, though you probably won't want to watch it again.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

I went into this movie expecting it to be terrible and it was so much worse than that. QUite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. I expected Transformers 1 bad, maybe Sharknado "lol, it's so bad!" bad, it was more like prison shower rape bad.

If you took away product placement and plot holes the whole thing would only be about 2 and a half minutes long. The plot is literally too stupid for a movie that you go in knowing full well is about anthropomorphic turtles that use martial arts to fight crime. It's terrible by action movie standards, IT'S TERRIBLE BY MICHAEL BAY STANDARDS! I'm not sure who can suspend enough disbelief to be able to put up with this shit, but it isn't me.

Spoilerized:

So splinter is a normal rat before the mutagen, but he finds a SINGLE FUCKING PICTURE BOOK about ninjas, and based on that teaches himself to be a ninja master who can not only instruct the turtles but also go toe to toe with a legitimately trained ninja dude?

ANd the mutagen is being developed by generic villain/ spiderman reboot plot point/April O'Neil's dad's murderer guy as an antidote to a disease that he and shredder plan to release on the city so that they can sell the mutagen as a cure. When the turtles go missing FIFTEEN YEARS in the past, they just kinda put a pin in that plan but keep a giant machine with the disease that they have no cure for on the roof all ready to go just in case. As soon as they learn the turtles are alive and that the mutagen has turned them from turtles into giant hulking warrior guys they go "Hey, the mutagen works! Let's get on that releasing the disease plan!" Never do they test the mutagen as a cure for this disease mind you. The fact that it turns turtles into giant monsters is good enough proof that it works for them. What will it do to people? Who knows! Will the people who buy it as a cure be a little miffed when the possible side effects include "giant monster being?" maybe, but that's their problem!

Let's not even get started on the fact that a substance that can turn anything into a giant monster MAY, just MAY be more valuable than a cure to an as yet unreleased disease and finally let's also ignore the fact that generic badguy man is a genetic engineer, that's his gig. After the turtles went missing FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS AGO do you think they had a meeting and somebody suggested "Hey, maybe we should just develop some other disease poison thingy that we can also create a cure for, since that kind of stuff is what we do here and all" and badguy man was all like "No way Steve, we already filled up the giant tank on the roof with the extremely dangerous toxin that we ourselves have no cure for, and I'm not paying maintenance to go up there again! They asked for hazard pay and shit! No, we'll just wait around and hopefully find the cure before we have to sell the building."

I just... my faith in humanity is shaken.


Final rating: Negative fifteen product placements out of ten.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

Post by nightflameauto »

Well, at least Michael gave up on the idea of it being Alien Ninja Turtles. So there's that.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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nightflameauto wrote:Well, at least Michael gave up on the idea of it being Alien Ninja Turtles. So there's that.


There was a joke about that. Probably the highlight.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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ShaneV wrote:
nightflameauto wrote:Well, at least Michael gave up on the idea of it being Alien Ninja Turtles. So there's that.


There was a joke about that. Probably the highlight.

I know. They put that joke in all the commercials.

I wonder if the script was OK and he fucked it with editing. The Transformers movies all have a novel that comes out around the same time as the movie. The novels and the movie come from the same script. One goes to a book writer/editor team, one goes to Michael. The novels are, while not spectacular, a LOT more coherent. Like, plots and points that follow each other and have an actual flow. Michael Bay just can't let that flow exist because he's so damn scared he'll have to cut a special effects shot. His attention to detail is for shit too.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

Post by Marc G »

Guardians of the Galaxy - 8/10... Solid Sci-Fi flick... I never read the comics so I can't really comment on how true it was to the source but none the less it was a great movie and a solid build up to the next Avengers movie. The only disappointment I had was the end of credits scene, it was kinda funny but I guess I was expecting something more to do with the story arc....
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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Marc G wrote:Guardians of the Galaxy - 8/10... Solid Sci-Fi flick... I never read the comics so I can't really comment on how true it was to the source but none the less it was a great movie and a solid build up to the next Avengers movie. The only disappointment I had was the end of credits scene, it was kinda funny but I guess I was expecting something more to do with the story arc....

And dear sweet baby jeebus, we are all hoping it is not a prelude to a new movie!

Seeing GotG again today with the wife. Why will it be even better than the first time? I will be drinking beer and eating hot wings while watching it! :thu:
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

Post by ShaneV »

Yarbicus wrote:
Marc G wrote:Guardians of the Galaxy - 8/10... Solid Sci-Fi flick... I never read the comics so I can't really comment on how true it was to the source but none the less it was a great movie and a solid build up to the next Avengers movie. The only disappointment I had was the end of credits scene, it was kinda funny but I guess I was expecting something more to do with the story arc....

And dear sweet baby jeebus, we are all hoping it is not a prelude to a new movie!

Seeing GotG again today with the wife. Why will it be even better than the first time? I will be drinking beer and eating hot wings while watching it! :thu:


I can see it now: Avengers 3 draws to a close, the Avengers and the Guardians are broken at the feet of Thanos. The universe is doomed. But then, seemingly from nowhere (or KNOWwhere I guess technically) one lone champion emerges. One lone duck.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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ShaneV wrote:
Yarbicus wrote:
Marc G wrote:Guardians of the Galaxy - 8/10... Solid Sci-Fi flick... I never read the comics so I can't really comment on how true it was to the source but none the less it was a great movie and a solid build up to the next Avengers movie. The only disappointment I had was the end of credits scene, it was kinda funny but I guess I was expecting something more to do with the story arc....

And dear sweet baby jeebus, we are all hoping it is not a prelude to a new movie!

Seeing GotG again today with the wife. Why will it be even better than the first time? I will be drinking beer and eating hot wings while watching it! :thu:


I can see it now: Avengers 3 draws to a close, the Avengers and the Guardians are broken at the feet of Thanos. The universe is doomed. But then, seemingly from nowhere (or KNOWwhere I guess technically) one lone champion emerges. One lone duck.

Darkwing Duck is going to battle Thanos?!? I can dig it! :lol:
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

Post by Yarbicus »

Telephant wrote:
ShaneV wrote:
Yarbicus wrote:
Marc G wrote:Guardians of the Galaxy - 8/10... Solid Sci-Fi flick... I never read the comics so I can't really comment on how true it was to the source but none the less it was a great movie and a solid build up to the next Avengers movie. The only disappointment I had was the end of credits scene, it was kinda funny but I guess I was expecting something more to do with the story arc....

And dear sweet baby jeebus, we are all hoping it is not a prelude to a new movie!

Seeing GotG again today with the wife. Why will it be even better than the first time? I will be drinking beer and eating hot wings while watching it! :thu:


I can see it now: Avengers 3 draws to a close, the Avengers and the Guardians are broken at the feet of Thanos. The universe is doomed. But then, seemingly from nowhere (or KNOWwhere I guess technically) one lone champion emerges. One lone duck.

Darkwing Duck is going to battle Thanos?!? I can dig it! :lol:

That would be so much better!
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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ShaneV wrote:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

I went into this movie expecting it to be terrible and it was so much worse than that. QUite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. I expected Transformers 1 bad, maybe Sharknado "lol, it's so bad!" bad, it was more like prison shower rape bad.

If you took away product placement and plot holes the whole thing would only be about 2 and a half minutes long. The plot is literally too stupid for a movie that you go in knowing full well is about anthropomorphic turtles that use martial arts to fight crime. It's terrible by action movie standards, IT'S TERRIBLE BY MICHAEL BAY STANDARDS! I'm not sure who can suspend enough disbelief to be able to put up with this shit, but it isn't me.



Final rating: Negative fifteen product placements out of ten.


This makes me sad. I'm not surprised, anything Bay touches turns to absolute unwatchable shit, but I was hoping it'd at least be a stupid action movie. How can Bay fuck those up so badly? I mean, the Expendables are TERRIBLE movies by any objective measurement, yet I can shut my brain off and enjoy shit blowing up for 90 minutes. Why can't Bay just do that?

Dammit. :(
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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Space Pirate Harlock (Harlock: Space Pirate? whatever)- 5.5/10 I believe this is based on a manga, or possibly a novel, but I haven't read it so I can't compare.

The idea is a bit far-fetched, but basic enough. Humanity had spread to the stars, something happens and humanity all decide to come home to Earth...at once. Now Earth couldn't handle all the people at once, war breaks out, and long story short, Harlock gets a sweet ship, immortality, and an obsession. To return humanity to Earth!

The animation is pretty top notch for a CGI movie. It reminded me a lot of some of Square's animation. The sound track was pretty good too. The story...it got bogged down in trying to cram too much plot in. Big monologues begin to happen as the movie goes forward and it gets a bit tedious. Still, if you have a couple hours and enjoy SF anime, give it a watch, it wasn't bad, just could've been a lot better with more focused writing.

Sabotage- 6.5/10 Arnold is back! This time at the head of a covert DEA team. (You're told they're covert because of their tattoos and stuff but...you don't really ever see much covert stuff going on....) A job goes bad which ends up with a bunch of missing money. After the investigation into their involvement is ended, the team is reformed, but then they start dying.....

The movie was decent. Its certainly not great, but it was fairly entertaining and there were some twists that you would be hard pressed to guess for certain until right before the reveal.

I'm pretty sure it was produced in a short amount of time because Olivia Willaims accent slowly slides from her natural light British accent, to an awful Southern/British accent, back to her natural accent. Same with a couple of the other actors.

Overall its a decent action movie that balances a workable plot with enough action to keep things going. Not great, but certainly not as bad as IMDB makes it seem.

Also, what is up with IMDB's ratings? Just awful movies get decent ratings, and not good, but not bad movies get poor ones. Are my movie views really that far out of the norm?
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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I wonder the same...Noah gets FOUR STARS?! I can't believe I paid for it. Wife and daughter liked it; I was bored to tears. Whatever.

Oculus - 7/10

Could this have been done better? Surely, but it's acceptable. I get creeped out by clowns, dolls and mirrors. This movie tensed me right the fuck up...creepy stuff happening, flicked back and forth between the present and the past to tell the story, kind of a different way to do it. I don't like mirrors and neither does my daughter, and we were both creeped. P is ambivalent about em and felt pretty much the same about the movie. If there's nothing else on, go ahead...was $5 on OnDemand...thought it was worth it. Entertained me, which is more than I can say for the last 7 'horror' movies I watched.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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Winter's Tale - 7/10.
This was not the travesty I had been led to believe it was going to be. Not perfect, by any means, but as a nice counterpoint to Noah (with over half of Noah's main cast in it) it stuck to its fantasy fairy tale plot line with just a little side-stepping into the current cultural obsession of angels/demons. Going in expecting it to be complete shit, I was entertained. Several key emotional trigger points were handled really, really well. A couple of moments were head-scratchers, but it wasn't near the train-wreck I had been led to believe.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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Muscle Shoals 8-9/10 fantastic . The music that came out of there oh man ..
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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NFA watched winters tale. lol.

new robocop: much more about a reboot to the backstory and futuretech than gore and taglines. maybe would have been better if it didnt have the original to stand up to. i watched the whole thing, without complaint. but could have used more titties and violence.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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Y0UNGBL00D wrote:NFA watched winters tale. lol.


Hey, it's a better love story than Twilight.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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Guardians of the Galaxy: Loved it. A solid 8.5/10.
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Re: Official Rate The Last Movie You Saw Thread

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Spider-Man 2 - Surprisingly shitty and emo. Why the fuck is Spider-Man always crying like a bitch?!? Its been a long time since I read the comics but I don't remember him being such a pansy. The plot was terrible, holes abound, over all just kinda sucked. I think I enjoyed the first one more. The end was actually surprising and maybe the best part though. :lol:

Captain America Winter Soldier - Didn't think this was as good as everyone made it out to be. Not as bad as Spider Man 2 but overall I did not think it was much better than the first one. Although the fight scenes were definitely better than the first one, so I''l give it the edge.

Guardians of The Galaxy - Phenomenal. One of the best comic book movies I have ever seen. Never read the comic so didn't know what to expect but it was great. Extremely light hearted but in the best of ways, and really funny too. Bradley Cooper and Chris Pratt were especially great. And actually, Bautista was far better than I thought he would be. Actually had some pretty good comedic timing. I hadn't actually had "fun" at a movie in a long time, but this movie brought it!
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