Lessons Learned from TV

Yarbicus · Post by **Yarbicus** » Thu Jan 24, 2013 2:33 pm

24: Never have sex with Jack Bauer.
Jerry Springer: If your wife asks about adding another woman to your sex life, make sure that you are invited.

Elessar [Sly] · Post by **Elessar [Sly]** » Mon Jan 28, 2013 5:05 am

Tv:
Red Dwarf: Rimmer is a smeghead

Black Books:
It is okay to drink wine
Dave's Syndrome is real.

Films:
LOTRs:
* Nobody tosses a dwarf!
* Except when they do, and then they don't tell anyone.
* It's important to keep selfish desires in check.
* Leave fireworks to the professionals.
* Don't try to pass your responsibilities to others.
* Little people can do big things.
* Really big spiders are scared of bright light.
* Never trust someone with an un-natural affinity for jewelry.

Mr.T · Post by **Mr.T** » Mon Jan 28, 2013 3:30 pm

My name is earl - Illegal immigrants and trailer trash are hot
Scrubs - Dr's don't do any work
Friends- In busy New York coffee houses, nobody ever sits on the comfy couch, leaving them free for your gang yet again!!!

I also learned that my household has some shitty viewing habits

Dickarms · Post by **Dickarms** » Mon Jan 28, 2013 3:50 pm

greys anatomy: when you're waiting on a doctor, they are in the back fucking
jersey shore: the end is fucking near
top chef: lots

phrophus · Post by **phrophus** » Mon Jan 28, 2013 3:52 pm

From TV, I've learned that I've gotta stop watching this shit and go outside and do something.

Dickarms · Post by **Dickarms** » Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:05 pm

from queen rocks montreal i learned i need to be more like freddy mercury, sans dicklicking

sleewell · Post by **sleewell** » Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:09 pm

you can spray shit on a boat with a screen door floor and go out boating for an entire day

Dickarms · Post by **Dickarms** » Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:13 pm

mythbusters ftmfw

sleewell · Post by **sleewell** » Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:15 pm

Y0UNGBL00D wrote:mythbusters ftmfw

oh shit, i was just referring to the infomercial... did they do that on the show???

Yarbicus · Post by **Yarbicus** » Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:20 pm

Y0UNGBL00D wrote:mythbusters ftmfw

If you take careful notes, it is called "science" not goofing off.

100 watt · Post by **100 watt** » Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:30 pm

From Dr Phil

I'm not so screwed up after all

gary666 · Post by **gary666** » Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:34 pm

to salt the fuck out of the water(sea salt NOT table salt) when making pasta. seriously can not put too much in.
table salt tastes like shit
do not use table salt
i watch too much Food Network

VTM · Post by **VTM** » Tue Jan 29, 2013 4:24 am

The hawt dog.

Elessar [Sly] · Post by **Elessar [Sly]** » Tue Jan 29, 2013 4:40 am

100 watt · Post by **100 watt** » Tue Jan 29, 2013 4:07 pm

Mr.T wrote:My name is earl - Illegal immigrants and trailer trash are hot
Scrubs - Dr's don't do any work
Friends- In busy New York coffee houses, nobody ever sits on the comfy couch, leaving them free for your gang yet again!!!

I also learned that my household has some shitty viewing habits

a womens show I dont mind watching, just because of teh Monica & Rachel hawtness. Would even settle for fat suit Monica

Chris Z · Post by **Chris Z** » Tue Jan 29, 2013 5:35 pm

Don't marry a chick who's brother in law is a DEA agent if you decide to make meth.

Shoot the zombies in the head.

Rampage · Post by **Rampage** » Tue Jan 29, 2013 5:57 pm

- Don't have sex with Roseanne.

- Ellen Degeneres is a guy with a woman's name. So is that dude on MSNBC who wears the pant suit.

- If you are going to compete on MasterChef, you should be sure to have a vagina, or you'll lose.

- If you have an IQ below 60 and contribute little to society, you are material for The Learning Channel.

- Apparently, history only involved rusty junk and pawn shops.

- The Amish have guns and drive cars.

- Jerry Springer had less job security being mayor than he did being the host of a repetitive daytime television show. Made less money, too.

- If you are a guy, you should block Bravo and E! Trust me, your life will be better.

- An episode of Cops in which the officer has a mustache and or mullet will be better than an episode of Cops in which they don't.

- It would be impossible to make a top ten list of Seinfeld episodes.

- MTV does not stand for Music Television.

- UPN used to be for black people, but My(insert number here) is obviously for white trash.

wrongnote85 · Post by **wrongnote85** » Tue Jan 29, 2013 7:07 pm

Yarbicus wrote:24: Never have sex with Jack Bauer.
Jerry Springer: If your wife asks about adding another woman to your sex life, make sure that you are invited.

truth.

also, at my house we call that show "keifer sutherland conquers the world"

long standing member · Wed Jan 30, 2013 5:34 pm

nightflameauto wrote:Firefly

Porn:
If a girl delivers the pizza, you should open the door naked and ask if she needs any extra pepperoni.

thanks for the sig!!!!!!!

Elessar [Sly] · Post by **Elessar [Sly]** » Thu Jan 31, 2013 4:21 am

Firefly
- cussing sounds sophisticated when you toss random Chinese/Cantonese into it
- chick mechanics are gonna be hawt as fuck even in the future.

THIS.

J.R. · Post by **J.R.** » Thu Jan 31, 2013 9:56 am

making meth is ok.

J.R. · Post by **J.R.** » Thu Jan 31, 2013 9:57 am

and a source of easy income. if you ignore all the hard parts.

VTM · Post by **VTM** » Thu Jan 31, 2013 11:25 am

That it's okay to man-spray a woman in the face.

Yarbicus · Post by **Yarbicus** » Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:14 pm

Sometimes you have to roll the hard 6.
It isn't fapping if you are hallucinating about a leggy blonde cyborg at the same time.

Yarbicus · Post by **Yarbicus** » Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:13 pm

BSG: I would totally risk the existence of the entire human race for a shot at a threesome with Tricia Helfer and Lucy Lawless.

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