Check out how shitty this is: "Reviewer Card."

BroSlinger · Post by **BroSlinger** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:22 am

I'm guessing this will never fly, but you never know.

http://www.chefswidow.com/cwblog/reviewercard

sleewell · Post by **sleewell** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:25 am

so basically give me free stuff or i will say bad things about you online?

seems legit.

90% of online reviews are horseshit from workers and relatives.

Prelude670 · Post by **Prelude670** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:25 am

May as well just order someone's spit in a glass.

Dave · Post by **Dave** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:27 am

Wow, that is ridiculous.

Diocide · Post by **Diocide** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:33 am

Ha! Fomm the title I thought this was some shitty new Musicians Friend promotion to try and bring people back to HC?

metalguy · Post by **metalguy** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:12 am

Whats even worse to me is that a restaurant or bar owner would give preferable treatment to someone just because they have a stupid card. Shouldn't everyone be getting top notch service to the best of your ability? (short of them being a complete asshole to the staff)

benjamin801 · Post by **benjamin801** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:15 am

Ah, the "please have every single person in the prep kitchen drag their balls across my entree" card.

GuitarBilly · Post by **GuitarBilly** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:47 am

benjamin801 wrote:Ah, the "please have every single person in the prep kitchen drag their balls across my entree" card.

sleewell · Post by **sleewell** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:53 am

benjamin801 wrote:Ah, the "please have every single person in the prep kitchen drag their balls across my entree" card.

hahahahahahahahahhaaha. the brain!!!

"I CAN NOT WAIT TO QUIT THIS JOB!"

Dickarms · Post by **Dickarms** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:55 am

when i was serving, this would say "how can i fuck with this douchetwat without him knowing?"

clipless bumper · Post by **clipless bumper** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:55 am

Great idea!!

I should be able to sell these for $50 and still make good money.

OverDriven · Post by **OverDriven** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:07 pm

My response would be to make a strict policy that if you flash that card, you're not getting served. They can't review what they don't eat. Get other local eateries to band together and adopt the same policy.

justcrash · Post by **justcrash** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:11 pm

I honestly never pay attention to any single review. I look for trends instead. This comes from one of my best friends, since like the 5th grade.

He's never been forced to "grow up" and thus is 40 years old and lives with his brother. He gets video games from gamefly. He will take a game out of the envelope (I've seen him do this), play it for 5 minutes, get fucking ENRAGED about some aspect of the game, put it back in the envelope, mail it back and write a 6 paragraph SCATHING review of the game. He is basically, exactly what you imagine every case of internet butthurtz would look like in real life. If he wasn't so damn funny, I'd never speak to him again.

Case in point, he has been "pouting" for the last 9 months and I've not heard from him. He wouldn't respond to texts, emails, phone calls, etc. I would just check with his brother to make sure he wasn't going to off himself. The latest round of butthurt was because he couldn't get his xbox, PS3, computer and cable box to all run through an HDMI expander unit. The units kept breaking. A normal person would have just gotten a PC monitor, but no, he isn't hearing that shit.

Anyway, as I usually do, I dropped him a random text last week "hey man, how're you doing?" not expecting a response (haven't gotten one in almost a year). To my surprise, I got a response:

"Who is this? It's 8:30 PM and I'm going to bed. Not because I am tired, but because I have nothing to do. That's how my life is. Thanks for asking."

Come to find out, after I explained "It's your best friend of 28 years" that his BH level got so high, he deleted all of the contacts out of his phone. I immediately pictured that WOW Freakout kid on youtube (fake or not). I laughed for probably 15 minutes at the whole conversation.

Dickarms · Post by **Dickarms** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:14 pm

where is the :freak: smiley

nakedzen · Post by **nakedzen** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:14 pm

WTF. So it's a business card that you can usually get like a 100 of printed for free, and you pay $100 for it? (Aside from the fact it's basically "I am a douchebag, here's my card as proof").

BrendanO · Post by **BrendanO** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:21 pm

If you're going to be a douchebag and hold Yelp over someone's head, you do it eye to eye, and you say it to their face, not this passive-aggressive black-card shit.

Steveijobzz · Post by **Steveijobzz** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:23 pm

Wow. What a fucking joke.

I can't believe this is a thing.

Imagine how the sellers of TUSCAN WHOLE MILK 1GAL 128 FL OZ must feel.

clipless bumper · Post by **clipless bumper** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:24 pm

justcrash wrote:I honestly never pay attention to any single review. I look for trends instead. This comes from one of my best friends, since like the 5th grade.

He's never been forced to "grow up" and thus is 40 years old and lives with his brother. He gets video games from gamefly. He will take a game out of the envelope (I've seen him do this), play it for 5 minutes, get fucking ENRAGED about some aspect of the game, put it back in the envelope, mail it back and write a 6 paragraph SCATHING review of the game. He is basically, exactly what you imagine every case of internet butthurtz would look like in real life. If he wasn't so damn funny, I'd never speak to him again.

Case in point, he has been "pouting" for the last 9 months and I've not heard from him. He wouldn't respond to texts, emails, phone calls, etc. I would just check with his brother to make sure he wasn't going to off himself. The latest round of butthurt was because he couldn't get his xbox, PS3, computer and cable box to all run through an HDMI expander unit. The units kept breaking. A normal person would have just gotten a PC monitor, but no, he isn't hearing that shit.

Anyway, as I usually do, I dropped him a random text last week "hey man, how're you doing?" not expecting a response (haven't gotten one in almost a year). To my surprise, I got a response:

"Who is this? It's 8:30 PM and I'm going to bed. Not because I am tired, but because I have nothing to do. That's how my life is. Thanks for asking."

Come to find out, after I explained "It's your best friend of 28 years" that his BH level got so high, he deleted all of the contacts out of his phone. I immediately pictured that WOW Freakout kid on youtube (fake or not). I laughed for probably 15 minutes at the whole conversation.

This partially explains how you are able to put up with all of us!!!

justcrash · Post by **justcrash** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:15 pm

mamberg wrote:
justcrash wrote:I honestly never pay attention to any single review. I look for trends instead. This comes from one of my best friends, since like the 5th grade.

He's never been forced to "grow up" and thus is 40 years old and lives with his brother. He gets video games from gamefly. He will take a game out of the envelope (I've seen him do this), play it for 5 minutes, get fucking ENRAGED about some aspect of the game, put it back in the envelope, mail it back and write a 6 paragraph SCATHING review of the game. He is basically, exactly what you imagine every case of internet butthurtz would look like in real life. If he wasn't so damn funny, I'd never speak to him again.

Case in point, he has been "pouting" for the last 9 months and I've not heard from him. He wouldn't respond to texts, emails, phone calls, etc. I would just check with his brother to make sure he wasn't going to off himself. The latest round of butthurt was because he couldn't get his xbox, PS3, computer and cable box to all run through an HDMI expander unit. The units kept breaking. A normal person would have just gotten a PC monitor, but no, he isn't hearing that shit.

Anyway, as I usually do, I dropped him a random text last week "hey man, how're you doing?" not expecting a response (haven't gotten one in almost a year). To my surprise, I got a response:

"Who is this? It's 8:30 PM and I'm going to bed. Not because I am tired, but because I have nothing to do. That's how my life is. Thanks for asking."

Come to find out, after I explained "It's your best friend of 28 years" that his BH level got so high, he deleted all of the contacts out of his phone. I immediately pictured that WOW Freakout kid on youtube (fake or not). I laughed for probably 15 minutes at the whole conversation.

This partially explains how you are able to put up with all of us!!!

True story. :-bd

Loop Bizkit · Post by **Loop Bizkit** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:25 pm

Gene, I DARE you to get that card and use it anywhere in this town.

Report back if you survive.

BrendanO · Post by **BrendanO** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:30 pm

Murdoch wrote:He's never shoved his phone up his ass, has he?

His head was blocking the way.

soundgardener75 · Post by **soundgardener75** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:32 pm

If anything, I should be entitled to that card more than anyone, because I love to eat and I will give it a fair review.

Fuck Yelp, a lot of people feel they're entitled to EVERYTHING. They can just do us all a favor: chug some Clorox and the world will be a better place.

Mesa/Kramer · Post by **Mesa/Kramer** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:34 pm

The bigger Fail is any idiot that would pay $100 for that piece of Plastic. #-o

Loop Bizkit · Post by **Loop Bizkit** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:49 pm

I think the issuer of said cards is a genius. I also wish I'd have thought of it.

Before you hate, here's why...

The guy is like Robin Hood. He's taking money from douchebags. Anyone who would buy that card deserves to lose $100. I want to buy him dinner.

HottKarl · Post by **HottKarl** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:10 pm

"You know, it's weird. Lately, it seems like whenever I go out to eat, my food smells vaguely like piss......."

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