Got divorced

[Devin]

All I can do is win.

[Dave]

I appreciate you guys.

Seriously.

I appreciate all the love and advice; even Dave stepped up. Our little boy is growing UP! JK Dave. Seriously though that was some real shit, thank you.

Seriously, I wanted this woman for like 17 years before we got together. I broke up with a 6’ NASCAR model for this woman.

It’s been 15 years and my life is completely different without her. All the differences make all the difference. I’m just wrecked right now.

I KNOW all the things I need to do. I need to work out, make more $$ and come up and I will. I can’t do anything else, I don’t know how. All I can do is win.

The thing that fucks with me is for the last 30+ years she’s been my future and now she’s part of my past.

No matter what I do, the movies I see, where I eat, the clothes I buy, the cars and trucks I purchase, the home I buy next, she’s no part of any of that.

It’s fucking with me hard.

I appreciate you guys. I know what I have to do and I’ll do it, in part thanks to you guys.

Thanks fellas. This is exactly what I wanted when I posted this here.

Thanks.

I’m turning 41 in a month





But real talk, you have to force yourself to follow all of this against your brain’s desire to return to comfort. It helped me to constantly remind myself that the emotions I was feeling were simply chemicals being dumped in my brain. It’s easy to succumb to them but with a conscious effort one can overcome those thoughts and stay strong. Good luck bro.

[maggotspawn]

Sorry to hear this. Stay strong. In the big picture it's probably for the best.

[GuitarBilly]

How did I miss this thread?

Sorry to hear about this man.

In my own experience and from watching friends go through this, divorce is a very painful experience when it first hits that becomes one of the best things that happens to you over time when you bounce back. And you will bounce back.
I was utterly devastated when my wife left me, especially because we had a son together. I'd always wanted to have a family and I felt like a failure.
But looking back, going through it freed me up to experience better things in all aspects of my life. Be it social, sex, music, friends relationships everything I experienced the past 18 years started with that divorce. And it turned out that I do have a family after all. My son is doing great. I have a wife I love now.

But if someone had told me this when it first happened to me, I'd be like "yeah right"

You've been around here for 10+ years and I know you're a solid guy. The good news is solid guys end up with solid lives. So you'll be ok man. I have no doubt about it.

In the meantime, surround yourself with friends, focus on music, hobbies even work. The less time you have to sit and think how much this hurts, the faster you will get to the other end of it.

As far as making changes, make the changes YOU want to make. The problem with making changes to appease a significant other that is threatening to leave (or already left) is that once you're done with the changes, there's another batch of them. To the point you eventually don't recognize yourself. And they end up leaving eventually anyway. So just focus on bettering yourself and whoever comes along for the ride can reap the benefits of it.

[Murdoch]

How did I miss this thread?

Sorry to hear about this man.

In my own experience and from watching friends go through this, divorce is a very painful experience when it first hits that becomes one of the best things that happens to you over time when you bounce back. And you will bounce back.
I was utterly devastated when my wife left me, especially because we had a son together. I'd always wanted to have a family and I felt like a failure.
But looking back, going through it freed me up to experience better things in all aspects of my life. Be it social, sex, music, friends relationships everything I experienced the past 18 years started with that divorce. And it turned out that I do have a family after all. My son is doing great. I have a wife I love now.

But if someone had told me this when it first happened to me, I'd be like "yeah right"

You've been around here for 10+ years and I know you're a solid guy. The good news is solid guys end up with solid lives. So you'll be ok man. I have no doubt about it.

In the meantime, surround yourself with friends, focus on music, hobbies even work. The less time you have to sit and think how much this hurts, the faster you will get to the other end of it.

As far as making changes, make the changes YOU want to make. The problem with making changes to appease a significant other that is threatening to leave (or already left) is that once you're done with the changes, there's another batch of them. To the point you eventually don't recognize yourself. And they end up leaving eventually anyway. So just focus on bettering yourself and whoever comes along for the ride can reap the benefits of it.

This is a fucking fantastic post, Bill.

[VTM]

How did I miss this thread?

Sorry to hear about this man.

In my own experience and from watching friends go through this, divorce is a very painful experience when it first hits that becomes one of the best things that happens to you over time when you bounce back. And you will bounce back.
I was utterly devastated when my wife left me, especially because we had a son together. I'd always wanted to have a family and I felt like a failure.
But looking back, going through it freed me up to experience better things in all aspects of my life. Be it social, sex, music, friends relationships everything I experienced the past 18 years started with that divorce. And it turned out that I do have a family after all. My son is doing great. I have a wife I love now.

But if someone had told me this when it first happened to me, I'd be like "yeah right"

You've been around here for 10+ years and I know you're a solid guy. The good news is solid guys end up with solid lives. So you'll be ok man. I have no doubt about it.

In the meantime, surround yourself with friends, focus on music, hobbies even work. The less time you have to sit and think how much this hurts, the faster you will get to the other end of it.

As far as making changes, make the changes YOU want to make. The problem with making changes to appease a significant other that is threatening to leave (or already left) is that once you're done with the changes, there's another batch of them. To the point you eventually don't recognize yourself. And they end up leaving eventually anyway. So just focus on bettering yourself and whoever comes along for the ride can reap the benefits of it.

This is a fucking fantastic post, Bill.

Agreed, and best of luck to you Stein. You got the goods to make an even better life for yourself.

[JiveTurkey]

Great post as always Bill. Keep your head up Stein. You can do it!

[K-Bizzle]

I can’t speak from direct experience on divorce but I feel like any sudden, seemingly negative change, always ends up for the best in the long run as it makes time and space for new things as well as potentially being a source of motivation.

It sounds like you’ve got your head on straight about it. Just focus on yourself in whatever ways make the most sense be it indulgence of self improvement. I think a healthy amount of both is the best way forward from things like this.

Regardless really sorry to hear brother and hope you’re doing well.

[Pepi]

Thank God this is something I never went through. We all most did but we worked it out.

Hope things are getting better for you

[Steinmetzify]

Thanks guys.

Doing positive shit and looking at jobs between $115k/$187k per year with almost 0 expenses cause I don’t have a woman.

Appreciate you guys.

[Pepi]

WOW! Took me 20 years to hit 6 figures. I'll say that's a BIG POSITIVE for you.