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Wander WTF/10

Jiu Jitsu - Nick Cage / 10


It was way worse than I expected and it was great lol

Marc G wrote:Jiu Jitsu - Nick Cage / 10


It was way worse than I expected and it was great lol

Dave is the SpaceMan

Fall: Awful everything. Awful acting. Awful dialogue. Awful story. 0/10. Nothing at all redeeming about this movie. Cliche bullshit all around.

Hellraiser: Story was good. The acting and script were awful. Story was presented terribly. I liked the new Pinhead, but they should have dirtied them up a bit or something. They looked like toys. Bad pacing. Bad movie.

Tell us how you really feel

atrox wrote:Fall: Awful everything. Awful acting. Awful dialogue. Awful story. 0/10. Nothing at all redeeming about this movie. Cliche bullshit all around.

Hellraiser: Story was good. The acting and script were awful. Story was presented terribly. I liked the new Pinhead, but they should have dirtied them up a bit or something. They looked like toys. Bad pacing. Bad movie.

I was particularly fond of how they took the Hellraiser lore, which was fairly rich and relatively logical as far as lore for horror movies went at the time, and utterly ignored all of it, coming up with the new, super-keen, ultra-edgy, "Rich fuckers make poor people die for their amusement."

So timely and nuance. So amazingly on-point and on-message! WOW! AMAZING!

What's really sad is? Even with how shit it was at reconceptualizing the lore, it's still good by modern horror standards. I mean, at least they bothered to develop a form of lore, even if it was shallower than the nearest mud puddle and more obvious than a very obvious thing.

nightflameauto wrote:

atrox wrote:Fall: Awful everything. Awful acting. Awful dialogue. Awful story. 0/10. Nothing at all redeeming about this movie. Cliche bullshit all around.

Hellraiser: Story was good. The acting and script were awful. Story was presented terribly. I liked the new Pinhead, but they should have dirtied them up a bit or something. They looked like toys. Bad pacing. Bad movie.

I was particularly fond of how they took the Hellraiser lore, which was fairly rich and relatively logical as far as lore for horror movies went at the time, and utterly ignored all of it, coming up with the new, super-keen, ultra-edgy, "Rich fuckers make poor people die for their amusement."

So timely and nuance. So amazingly on-point and on-message! WOW! AMAZING!

What's really sad is? Even with how shit it was at reconceptualizing the lore, it's still good by modern horror standards. I mean, at least they bothered to develop a form of lore, even if it was shallower than the nearest mud puddle and more obvious than a very obvious thing.

Really the first 2 (? tops) were good. The rest I have attempted to watch were utter garbage. So the bar isn't even that high, imo. My favorite highlight back in the day was the cenobite that shot cds out of his mouth







At least there wasn't a rave or livestream in this one. I don't think? I was fine with this. I think it's better than the Candyman reboot by far. So there's that high water mark?

JiveTurkey wrote:

nightflameauto wrote:

atrox wrote:Fall: Awful everything. Awful acting. Awful dialogue. Awful story. 0/10. Nothing at all redeeming about this movie. Cliche bullshit all around.

Hellraiser: Story was good. The acting and script were awful. Story was presented terribly. I liked the new Pinhead, but they should have dirtied them up a bit or something. They looked like toys. Bad pacing. Bad movie.

I was particularly fond of how they took the Hellraiser lore, which was fairly rich and relatively logical as far as lore for horror movies went at the time, and utterly ignored all of it, coming up with the new, super-keen, ultra-edgy, "Rich fuckers make poor people die for their amusement."

So timely and nuance. So amazingly on-point and on-message! WOW! AMAZING!

What's really sad is? Even with how shit it was at reconceptualizing the lore, it's still good by modern horror standards. I mean, at least they bothered to develop a form of lore, even if it was shallower than the nearest mud puddle and more obvious than a very obvious thing.

Really the first 2 (? tops) were good. The rest I have attempted to watch were utter garbage. So the bar isn't even that high, imo. My favorite highlight back in the day was the cenobite that shot cds out of his mouth







At least there wasn't a rave or livestream in this one. I don't think? I was fine with this. I think it's better than the Candyman reboot by far. So there's that high water mark?

There were only two Hellraiser movies in the past.

OK, that's not true. There was a half-decent one in the middle of the run, but the "real" Hellraiser movies were the first two. The third and on were shit.

Armored Saint = shark-jump.

Modern horror is such a disaster. It's sad that in a few years time we'll probably be able to hold up this Hellraiser as a high-water mark for the year. Holy shit that's depressing.

Oh man! I never knew they were in Hellraiser? I must not have made it that far Too bad. Par for the course on their luck. Must have been their take on the "let's invite Cannibal Corpse Ace Ventura style" thing. Who would have been a better fit for the movie at hand over Armored Saint

JiveTurkey wrote:Oh man! I never knew they were in Hellraiser? I must not have made it that far Too bad. Par for the course on their luck. Must have been their take on the "let's invite Cannibal Corpse Ace Ventura style" thing. Who would have been a better fit for the movie at hand over Armored Saint

That was Hellraiser 3. The same one with the Cenobite that tossed CDs as a weapon. Went to the theater for that one with my best bud at the time, and we both left going, "WTF happened?"

That was '92. Ace Ventura's Cannibal Corpse moment was but a figment of somebody's imagination at that point.

Grimcutty. Have I got a movie for you!/10. Intersection of really everything I love about modern horror. Other than a rave scene. Though there was a party? Absolute gem.

Lol watched that grimcutty last night and thought it was bad

Then I watched tentacle after and reconsidered if grimcutty was actually that bad after all

spawnofthesith wrote:Lol watched that grimcutty last night and thought it was bad

Then I watched tentacle after and reconsidered if grimcutty was actually that bad after all

It was terrible. Yet we watched it

About a third through I couldn’t unsee the grimcutty looking like a spitting image of Steve Carrells character in “Despicable Me”

Oh god I hoped for some sort of explanation. No matter how absurd I knew it was going to be. The fact that there wasn't one was really my only true disappointment as I knew it was going to suck going in to it.

I need 10ccs of A24 stat to heal me

I feel like there HAS to be a middle ground. One where I am not spoonfed the lowest level of teenybopper horror dreck; but also one where I am not thrust into deep reflection where every single choice is an artistic statement begging to be examined by film scholars throughout the ages.


I like things that fall into both categories. I also don't like things on both sides of these proverbial fences

Beast: I thought we finally stopped making movies like this/10

Stop spoon feeding us all the clues needed for situations later in the story. Hollywood really thinks people are dumb.

That said, this wasn't that bad. It wasn't good. It's no "Ghost in the Darkness" (which doesn't really hold up today either honestly, but it is a better movie and a true story). Idris should have passed on this though. the script is beneath him.

The CG was damn impressive at times and faulty at other times. I know what it takes to do this kind of CG (it's my job) and real, existing animals are hard. I was mighty impressed with a lot of this movie in that regard. The story was fine. A few holes and dumb things.

real score 4/10

People are dumb though.

Marc G wrote:Jiu Jitsu - Nick Cage / 10


It was way worse than I expected and it was great lol

This looks incredible

Halloween Ends: 1000 Never watching anything associated with Danny Mcbrides again/10.

Um I liked the opening sequence. That's...about it. Terrible dialog, weird direction to take the story in. No one watches slasher "franchise end" films to get their elevated horror fix. No one watches a slasher franchise film for romance. Just a complete mess.

A lot of other entries in this series have appreciated a bit over time. III, even 6 has it's fans despite how it is. I hope this one doesn't have a similar fate. It looks nice but that is really about it. I should have known after watching Kills. Which had some cool flash backs and some good bits but was completely idiotic with the whole Tommy Doyle storyline and portrayal by a usually good Anthony Michael Hall. I They should have left it at the original 2018 film.

JiveTurkey wrote:Halloween Ends: 1000 Never watching anything associated with Danny Mcbrides again/10.

Um I liked the opening sequence. That's...about it. Terrible dialog, weird direction to take the story in. No one watches slasher "franchise end" films to get their elevated horror fix. No one watches a slasher franchise film for romance. Just a complete mess.

A lot of other entries in this series have appreciated a bit over time. III, even 6 has it's fans despite how it is. I hope this one doesn't have a similar fate. It looks nice but that is really about it. I should have known after watching Kills. Which had some cool flash backs and some good bits but was completely idiotic with the whole Tommy Doyle storyline and portrayal by a usually good Anthony Michael Hall. I They should have left it at the original 2018 film.

McBride is fine in comedies, where he can just play himself and not worry about it. When he tries anything dramatic it falls flatter than a pancake. That sci-fi garbage-fest he was in was one the wife and I couldn't even make it through. And it takes a LOT of pain to make me turn off sci-fi.

As for the whole Halloween franchise? I never got the appeal. I'd run myself through ten-straight rewatches of Jason X and Freddy vs. Jason before I'd subject myself to the "best" Halloween movie again. They seem to vary from terrible without intent to "let's shit on the fans and see how much they can take."

Speaking of Rob Zombie, I've heard one person so far that likes the new Munsters movie. Everybody else thinks it's a dumpster fire of failure. Maybe Zombie should just fuck off and concentrate on putting together shitty dance tunes disguised as pop-metal? I don't think this movie thing is working for him.

nightflameauto wrote:

JiveTurkey wrote:Halloween Ends: 1000 Never watching anything associated with Danny Mcbrides again/10.

Um I liked the opening sequence. That's...about it. Terrible dialog, weird direction to take the story in. No one watches slasher "franchise end" films to get their elevated horror fix. No one watches a slasher franchise film for romance. Just a complete mess.

A lot of other entries in this series have appreciated a bit over time. III, even 6 has it's fans despite how it is. I hope this one doesn't have a similar fate. It looks nice but that is really about it. I should have known after watching Kills. Which had some cool flash backs and some good bits but was completely idiotic with the whole Tommy Doyle storyline and portrayal by a usually good Anthony Michael Hall. I They should have left it at the original 2018 film.

McBride is fine in comedies, where he can just play himself and not worry about it. When he tries anything dramatic it falls flatter than a pancake. That sci-fi garbage-fest he was in was one the wife and I couldn't even make it through. And it takes a LOT of pain to make me turn off sci-fi.

As for the whole Halloween franchise? I never got the appeal. I'd run myself through ten-straight rewatches of Jason X and Freddy vs. Jason before I'd subject myself to the "best" Halloween movie again. They seem to vary from terrible without intent to "let's shit on the fans and see how much they can take."

Speaking of Rob Zombie, I've heard one person so far that likes the new Munsters movie. Everybody else thinks it's a dumpster fire of failure. Maybe Zombie should just fuck off and concentrate on putting together shitty dance tunes disguised as pop-metal? I don't think this movie thing is working for him.

Halloween 1,2; 4 are great. III as a standalone is good. Halloween 2018 is really good, other than the Doctor character, Few snippets of RZ's #2 are actually ok. His #1 is atrocious on every level. So much trash. Lords of Salem is probably my favorite from him.

I like McBride certainly. His schtick is one of my favorites. But his involvement and the resulting output of these last 2 films have been just terrible.

One we watched yesterday that was actually very good. Deadstream on Shudder. Ticks a lot of the "things I hate about horror" boxes but actually was really good. Dude getting back on his feet with his streaming channel after being demonetized for a long stretch decides to go do a one night haunted house challenge. All found footage, livestream style. Obviously. Really it hinged on the live streamers performance/personality. And he nailed it. Lots of excellent humor as well as a one man Evil Dead vibe. Very pleasantly surprised by this one.