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Ugh, I don't know why I'm doing this, but here it is.
I've been with my wife for 25 years, married for 20.
On April 13, when I got home from work, she told me she's leaving me. I found out the next day that she cheated on me.
I'm a total wreck. Can't find any motivation to do anything including play guitar. I suddenly find that I have a LOT of time on my hands with nothing to do but wallow in my own misery.
So there you have it. That's my current Pathetic life. Do I want sympathy? Do I expect you guys to solve my problems? No. I guess maybe it's just that the more I say it (or write it) maybe I'll get used to it.
My best bro of 37 years just had his wife leave him after 17 years of marriage. He was blindsided. He's handling it really well. I think you can handle it too.
Think of it as an opportunity for a new start. Do NOT turn to extreme substance abuse for comfort. Hang out with your friends. Good luck, man. We're pulling for you. If she was willing to throw away your relationship, then she wasn't the right girl. Every day is a chance to start over. You might try some magic mushroom microdosing or something so you don't fall into depression.
Now is the time to get a workout routine going to keep your head on straight. It won’t be easy at first but stick to it and it’ll help you fly straight when your brain is trying to shield itself from mental pain.
Mojo sent man. That is a tough one. Like Dave and Gene said; keep yourself occupied as much as possible. It's going to take some time but you'll get there.
Yeah, I've been working out a lot. I've lost 19lbs since April 13. It helps that I also have very little appetite. I haven't really been drinking either.
Keeping occupied is the hard part. She is all I can think about.
It's good that you're working out. That will help to mitigate some of your frustration. Also good to hear that you're not really drinking...as someone who went down that road a long time ago as self-medication for a period of intense grief, I would advise ANYONE to stay away from it for those reasons. That's a pit that's hard to climb out of.
As others have said, stay occupied. Consume mindless media, just throwaway stuff. Don't engage with anything that you have previously found enjoyable, because then you'll associate it with this feeling from this point forward. You will make it through this...I know it doesn't seem that way right now, and it just feels crushing, but you can do it. It will just take time.
For what it's worth, and I know that isn't much, I am very sorry, Zeegs.
It's good that you're working out. That will help to mitigate some of your frustration. Also good to hear that you're not really drinking...as someone who went down that road a long time ago as self-medication for a period of intense grief, I would advise ANYONE to stay away from it for those reasons. That's a pit that's hard to climb out of.
As others have said, stay occupied. Consume mindless media, just throwaway stuff. Don't engage with anything that you have previously found enjoyable, because then you'll associate it with this feeling from this point forward. You will make it through this...I know it doesn't seem that way right now, and it just feels crushing, but you can do it. It will just take time.
For what it's worth, and I know that isn't much, I am very sorry, Zeegs.
Good point about avoiding engaging with things you already love, music, movie or whatever entertainment wise. That connection will suck once the pain passes.
it may feel like the end but I'm an optimist and we do dumb human shit to each other so while it may feel like the end perhaps it's a beginning . Maybe even together , friends, lovers whatever . I'm sure y'all are in for some deep conversations soon and I wish you all the best .
p.s the good news is you are not being publicly sued for 50 million dollars and the whole world can see what freaks you both are
“Our virtues and our failings are inseparable, like force and matter. When they separate, man is no more” ― Nikola Tesla
“I cannot be arsed with this right now” ― MISTER NOBODY™
"Stand up for what you believe in even if you are standing alone" ― Sophie Scholl
fretless wrote:it may feel like the end but I'm an optimist and we do dumb human shit to each other so while it may feel like the end perhaps it's a beginning . Maybe even together , friends, lovers whatever . I'm sure y'all are in for some deep conversations soon and I wish you all the best .
p.s the good news is you are not being publicly sued for 50 million dollars and the whole world can see what freaks you both are
I'd trade places with Johnny in a second. It honestly looks to me like he's having fun.
TurboPablo wrote:Keep pumpimg those irons and work the hurt out.
This. Cardio, too. Your heart rate will likely fluctuate, and being in better cardio shape will help. It will also help you sleep, and you will need that in spades.
Walt wrote:But when the hour is nigh, and the lights are low, and I got a little toothpick of a shwag joint in my teeth, and my friends want to hear me play "Into the Void", or "TNT", "or "Cemetery Gates"...I plug my 600 dollar guitar into my 150 dollar amp, and I am a Rawk gawd.
Wishing you the best of luck, dude. I'm going through divorce, too, and echo the advice to work on yourself. It's the best way to keep sane through all the shit that you'll be dealing with.
Women. They cheat. Almost all of them. I grew up in a family with 3 older sisters and no brothers. Most of my close friends in my 61 years have been women and that is still true today. I've been surrounded by women all my life.
Of all the women I know, I can only think of one that I'm pretty sure never cheated and I'm not 100% sure of her. Funny thing is, they almost always feel justified for their actions and usually blame the guys. They really don't see themselves as doing something bad.
Move on, stay busy doing literally anything. Just stay busy. Things will get better. Just stay busy. Keep moving.
